Thoughts by Misty Golden Rose

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Thoughts by Misty Golden Rose

November 15h, 2009

“When You Know an End Is Near”

When you hear the word terminal you know an end is near. One starts a grieving time and process from that moment on. Life as you know it is going to turn drastically for anyone that is close to the terminally ill patient. How do I know this; well my family went through it first hand when hearing the word terminal. We never truly understand God's timing of why and when things or situations happen during life, but Our Heavenly Father Above has a holy and genuine plan we should never doubt. When my father past away, my mother put it the best way ever, she said it was a happy-sad. I put the happy first because she and I witnessed the passing of my father and his health change for the worse.

We all noticed he was getting weaker and would tire-out physical for the last few years, but did not quite understand the why until he had a major heart attack June 6^th, 2009. We at that time had no idea why his health was failing so quickly. He was one of those people who never ever had any medical treatment in his life till that attack; other than health physicals required for employments. When the doctors started treating him for his heart they were flying in total darkness. They all did wonderful, until the last time they needed to drain some fluid off from around the one lung. It was then and a total surprise to the medical staff as well as us; that when they went in to put a drain tube in behind the one lung there was a mass of cancer that had shown-up on x-rays as just fluid. From that moment on; they came to realize dad was no-longer was just a heart patient, but a cancer one as well.

The type of cancer they were dealing was known to prone to causing heart attaches. They then thought possibly the heart attack was due to the cancer. There was also another symptom that came to attention at that time; my father had mentioned for a very long time he had a back, hip, hand, leg, joint, etc., pain that my folks always thought was an old age process. They figured those aches and pain were an arthritis issue happening within him. But the medical team that was assigned to my father case really believed possibly that this joint and bone pain he was experiencing was more than likely a bone/blood cancer; that was advancing thought-out his body for quite some time, possibly years. By the time this was all discovered about my father’s health was so exhausted; he was way too weak to even make it through the testing, not to mention the medications and side affects of treating.

The medical team figured it would shorten and end his life quicker, if they even started any further tests or treatment. It was at that time we heard the word terminal and they asked my father for his last wishes. Basically there were only two wishes. He did not want pass on to the next world in a hospital or care center and did not want to come home in an ambulance, so there for my sister drove him home. What should had been a two hour trip; ended-up being over four hours, because with the stopping about every 10-15 minutes to adjust father's potions and let the pain subside a bit so they could go on. He also asked to be brought to my house for his final care and passing, with my mother as his primary care person along with my assistance. We did though have hospice come in to help with medication and bed changes. Other than that it was my mother and me who watched his pain and suffering of his final weeks and gladly cared for all his needs. It was so sad and heartbreaking to have witnessed, but in the end it was with a full understanding and blessing when he cried out in pain for the last time, September 16th. That is when my mother used the words, “it is a happy sad”. The happy 1^st, because we were so received that father's suffering and pain was finally at an end. The sad 2^nd, because it was heartbreaking for us because we grieve that my pops is no longer with us.

From the moment the doctors said terminal, I saw a grievance starting to settle in each and very one that was close to my father. That person we loved so much was withering away right in front of our eyes daily. Many emotions surfaced and some are still hovering just below out of view even today. We all are trying to find some kind of composure and closure. Thoughts creep in on how ever we are going to carry on without the love and support of a father. There was so many times though my life he was the strength and courage for us to carry on. One haunting thought with very unsettling emotions that hovers just below is; the thought of all the differences me and my father had in the past and coming to realize what a waste of time that was. But one cannot change the past moments in time; one just has to focus on what is to come. Yes, my father is gone but only in the form that I knew before. Though is body form is not visual anymore, I choose to believe his spirit and love never left. Why do I believe this; well it easy to comprehend my father’s love is not only of his own but of God’s too. The choice and free will we have that continually grows is His Spirit that feeds our spirit so we know. The love of my father and the life of his soul are undying just like our Lord’s. Because of this reasoning and belief I know I will have my earthly father’s love and support for the remaining portion of my life. My father has gone on to a better place one we all will travel to too, if we trust and believe in God Almighty and His Son Jesus.

In conclusion to this very long testimony; if it helps to console no more than just one soul who is grieving, one person who is struggling to understand the timing of a death or departure, then it was well worth the length of time it took to write, edit, and re-write. I do realize and sincerely do understand it is not emotionally or physically possibly for everyone to be able to handle a loved-one passing-over to eternal life from their own home. That is one of the reason I decided to get this devotion in public view. God has created us all with unique abilities and strengths in different areas, which is such a blessing. But I also know it surely was much easier for me to have vividly witnessed and experienced hands-on the understanding of what a person goes through with cancer or another terminal illness. To intimately and genially understand what a true and loving blessing it is to have Our Heavenly Father take them home sooner than later. Sure grievance is hard to handle, sad, lonely, miserable, and a sorrow beyond belief, but the comfort and peace surfaces when you truly realize the one you love is no longer suffering, and what a Devine Blessing that is. All in all, earthly life is all just the course of our well planned-out existence and a beloved fortune of God’s Love that allows us to have the chance to experience the good, the hard, and the ugly. Such a loving and caring Father we all have, to be so loved and bless to have the choice of receiving such Godly Divine Blessing, as to pass-over to a much Better Eternal Life...And my dear on-line friends that is the choice and blessings in life, not the gift. The gift in Godly life is yet to come...."Amen"

Revelation 1:1-3

1The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, 2who testifies to everything he saw that is, the word of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ. 3Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.

“What Is There Not To Love”

The mornings of sunshine,

The days of thunder and rain,

Oh My!